Feelin' the burn(out)

I swear I'm going to try to work out today. Truly. I'm going to try.

I was doing so well there for a while, too. For several weeks I was going down to the office gym every single day. I was developing what I saw as a rapport with the other daily folks. I was feeling good and, honestly, kinda self-satisfied. I mean, I was going to the GYM. 5 days a WEEK. I was finally the good person I wanted to be.

Then I got sick with some weird chest virus and couldn't work out for a while. Or breathe properly. Or eat without feeling like I was having a heart attack. It was a lot of fun.

Then I got transferred to a department which consists of only me and was inhumanly busy for several weeks, non-stop. I didn't even remember what a lunch hour was for a while there. That, too, was a lot of fun.

Now I really don't have an excuse anymore. The work has slowed down to a manageable flow and I can take a deep breath without groaning in pain. I can even walk up a flight of stairs without wanting to cry. Miracles happen.

And yet...I've lost my gym mojo. Completely. I have to work back up to that crazy high I was on just 6 short weeks ago. I managed to drag my butt down there yesterday. And after brushing the cobwebs off my workout clothes, which were patiently waiting for me in my locker all this time, I got down to the business of exercise. And it wasn't bad at all. I even felt good about myself when I came back to my desk.

But not good enough to make me want to do it again today.

The worse part about all of this is that I'm trying to lose weight and develop a more healthy lifestyle. Add to that the fact that I'm going out to dinner tonight and would like to lose myself in a big plate of scampi, perhaps followed by some chocolate. What balances these two opposing viewpoints? Exercise.

This sucks.

**EDIT** I did go to the gym after all. And it wiped me out. See? The gym is evil.

Sweet nothings...

My husband and I are halfway through our 5th month of marital bliss. It seems like 5 years, and I'm not exaggerating. I guess because I spent so much time and energy working towards the wedding, time has just stretched out like taffy in the post-wedding months.

I was quite the crafty bride and arranged all of the bouquets and bouts myself, as well as the centerpieces. One day I will have good pictures to post here, because I really am proud of the work I did. Do I wish I'd had more time that day to just relax/stress with nothing to do? Sure. But that's just the way it was. I'll never forget sitting in my mom's backyard at 6AM the day of my wedding, making bouts, eating a cheese sandwich on rye bread. It was still dark outside. And the fact that I was getting married in 11 hours was far too surreal. But I did, and it flew by in the blink of an eye. And then we went to Disney World. Which is a post or two unto itself.

Marriage has been good so far. Neither of us has changed into an unrecognizable monster, much to the disappointment of people who ask questions like "Yeah, well now you're MARRIED, I guess everything's different, right, har har har?". You know those people. I much prefer being asked nice questions, like "What's your favorite part about being married?". I usually use fuzzy catch-words like companionship and stability and friendship, because those are the things people want to hear. And I mean all of it, truly I do. But that's not really the best part.

What's really the best part of being married 5 and a half months? Easy. Only 6 and a half months til we get to eat the top tier of our wedding cake.

There it sits in the freezer. Taunting us with its promised deliciousness. Every time I go in there I see it, sitting in the back, waiting patiently for the day of its liberation. It knows it's got it goin' on, so no need to rush a good thing. I merely nod, paying my respects, and close the freezer door before it notices the drool dripping down my chin. I don't want it to see me like that, it would be too embarassing. My husband, however, is not quite so patient and has asked me more than once how much longer we have to wait to thaw that baby out. When I'm jonesing for something sweet and there's nothing in the house, I swear a little glowy light radiates from the freezer.

I'm not sure what makes it hurt more: the fact that we didn't get to have more than that one little bite we fed each other at the wedding, or the fact that we've eaten cake from Stock's before and know just how delicious it is. That's right, you Philly people. It's a Stock's cake. And Stock's doesn't mess around. Perhaps if I didn't know what was awaiting me (and if I wasn't such a porker, if we're being honest here), these next 6 and a half months wouldn't seem so lengthy.

Good thing our anniversary is a Saturday. We might just need Sunday to recuperate from the sugar hangover. And to clean up, because I don't see this as being neat when it finally goes down.

Obsession

My friends, I have developed an obsession.

It started innocently enough. I was walking down the street one evening, passing time while waiting for the bus, when my eyes spotted the neighborhood thrift store. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve passed this store by, as it’s located a block away from the train station where I begin and end my lengthy commute every day. I just never paid much attention, I guess. Too busy making eyes at the much flashier soft pretzel factory across the street, and the windows of what used to be a bridal store a few doors down. Naturally the poor little thrift store was overlooked.

But the bridal shop is no more and the pretzel place was closed for the day. And it was cold outside. So that thrift store started looking reeeeeal good. Sigh. The most life-changing events can start so innocently, I’ve found. Because not long after entering, a light bulb clicked on in my brain. “I wonder if they have books…”

Backstory: I’ve been forcing myself lately to lay back on my book buying. It’s not easy. One of my favorite places in the world is the bookstore – just walking in and smelling all those books, wandering from stack to stack, taking my time picking my latest purchase(s, depending on whatever awesome “Buy One, Get One Half Off” sale is going on). A gift card to the bookstore is pure joy, and it’s usually spent before I even step through the doors because there’s almost always a book in the back of my mind that I’d like to read. However, gift cards aren’t always available, and my Borders Rewards card doesn’t save me all that much money. When you read like I do, you gotta either be prepared to say goodbye to some serious coin or find a cheaper alternative. But not for me the library, either. I like to own the books. I like to go back and reread the ones I particularly love. Plus I pass the really interesting ones on to my husband when I’m finished reading.

So I started looking around the store for any bookshelves. And sure enough there they were, in the back of the store. Rows of books. I stood, pie-eyed, gazing at all the loveliness before me. Of course, on closer inspection, I found that I didn’t have much use for much of them – just random books by random authors (seriously, a biography on Barbara Mandrel?), but there were some real gems there, too. I looked around, wondering how much the store was charging. 35 cents for paperbacks, 90 for hardbacks. Gasp! I had to stop myself from pulling a Supermarket Sweep right then and there.

That was just last week. Seven short days ago. Since then I’ve purchased 5 books and have read two all the way through and am just starting another one. I’ve spent a whopping $2.15 (they’re even having a 25% off sale! I almost capered in glee!). And after last night’s perusal there’s at least three more I’m thinking of buying. Gotta love supporting your habit on the cheap.

Now if I could just find some super hot, wearable (read: fungus free) shoes there…and perhaps awesome, gently used Food Network caliber cookwear…

Welcome!

Hello everyone! Welcome to my blog!

My brother tells me that I should write about my life, that I have enough embarrassing situations, klutzy tendencies and weird stories to fill an entire book. Well, I don't know about a book right now, but I can at least record some of the insanity here. How do I know enough ridiculousness will take place to fill these virtual pages? Oh, I just know.

On top of that, there are a lot of positive changes in my life either currently taking place or promising to do so down the road. Also a good excuse to open my life to the world at large.

Plus I'd like to have somewhere to brag about fun foods I've made and possibly post pictures! I'm a show-off like that.

Blogs are funny, aren't they? So many people, so certain that the minutiae of their lives is special enough to warrant web-wide disclosure. I guess we're a society of narcissistic Peeping Toms. Or are we just trying to reach out and make a mark for ourselves? "I am here, I exist as a member of the world. And I just discovered that my underwear's on backwards today." Maybe somewhere in between.

And no, that was not a personal statement back there. My underwear is not on backwards. At least, not today.