My Dream

You know what? I'm tired of this penchant I have for denying myself everything that's most important to me. Where did that even come from? The second something seems problematic or uncomfortable, I back off immediately and decide "it wasn't worth it anyway". Maybe I never learned how to focus on me, on what I need.

What do I need?

I need to admit the fact that I have dreams that are worth pursuing. I know a lot of people who see what they want and don't think twice about striving for it. I know a lot of women in particular who see it as a necessity to take care of themselves whenever possible, whether that be something as simple as getting their nails done on a regular basis or taking time out of their day to work out or meditating or whatever is important to them. They do it and that's just that. I on the other hand will talk myself out of just about anything. I know I've talked about this before.

So what is it that I'm dying to do? I'm dying to open my own restaurant. Nothing big, nothing swank. Just a neighborhood place with good comfort food where people come in and chat with each other. A place where old family pictures hang on the walls and where there's a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere. That's what I want. I want to make people happy with my food.

I thought for about five minutes about going to culinary school, but that is hella expensive and, frankly, a restaurant is a big enough investment in and of itself. So that route is out. Instead I plan to do two things:

1) Perfect my core recipes, the ones I'm already good at and love to make, and learn new ones

2) Study whatever I can get my hands on in terms of the business side of this endeavor.

I don't have a timeline yet, and I know that I have a lot to learn and think about in order to come up with the best product possible. And I do want to make sure that I have as many kinks worked out in advance as I can.

That's my goal, that's what I need to do, food is what I'm most passionate about. Food is so important. Food evokes memories, food brings people together. And it's what I want to give to others...and to myself, because I owe myself this.