Weight Loss Journal, Day 4

Tomorrow is the big day. The day I bare it all (figuratively – you’re not gonna be seeing anything that only my husband should be seeing).

At first I thought it would be no big deal to reveal my weight like this. So rarely are women comfortable with that number, even if it’s an extremely reasonable one. The fib, they avoid, they dress themselves so as to conceal perceived flaws. No one walks around with that number hanging from around their neck unless they’re on “The Biggest Loser”.

Well I can say one thing with absolute certainty: This ain’t no “Biggest Loser” competition. You’re not going to see me losing weight hand over fist, just pounds and pounds disappearing all at once. It’s not going to work that way for any sustained period of time. I, like so many others, have crash dieted. And I’ve lost weight, fast. And gee gosh, it’s all back again! Go figure!

So, this is on my terms. I want to be fitter, I want to be slimmer, I want to be healthy inside and out. So no crash diets, no crazy exercise regime that’ll have me hurting myself. And no dieting.

GASP! No dieting?

No. I refuse to ever diet again. I am 30 years old and am at this moment breaking the dieting chains. At the heart of this issue, my weight, is the fact that I can’t deal with food in a healthy way. I need to learn how to do that. Until I do, no weight loss will ever be permanent. I’ll never know how to say “That’s not the best thing for me to be eating” if all I say when I’m losing weight is “I’m on a diet”. Once the diet’s over, what’s the excuse for passing up that second helping? And the issues that lay behind wanting that food so much won’t go anywhere, they’ll just be waiting to rear their ugly heads once my back is turned. So once again I say: No More Dieting.

Today’s food was just the same as yesterday’s, except I mixed up the order of my snacks (oooh, wild!) and had tuna instead of sardines. I’m truly a creature of habit. Dinner will most likely be pasta – but not much, since weigh-in is tomorrow and I really don’t need to add any more weight! I will be piling on any veggies I can get my hands on so as to make it more filling.