Coffee Time: Finding Joy

Good morning, coffee friends!


The word "joy" has been on my mind a lot this past week. I'm sure my husband, who will be reading this because he's just cool and supportive like that, is tired of hearing me say the word. Joy, joy, joy.
Why has joy been on my mind? Well, as of late I've noticed that there is a severe absence of joy in my life. Granted, there have been beautiful moments here and there, and laughter and family and friends. But for the most part (and more so lately) I feel as though a weight has been placed on me which is getting heavier and heavier as time goes on.

Last week a boulder was added when we got word that Rob's dad is coming home much sooner than we had planned. The normal questions arose, questions like "Will we have to clean him up after he uses the bathroom?" and "Will we have to bathe him?" and stuff like that - things we were hoping he'd be better at before he was sent home. He's talking and everything, and there's no paralysis (thank you, Lord), but he's weak and not eating well and not interested in anything but sleep so we can't yet forsee a time when he'll start to get stronger and more able to take care of his basic needs. We felt very overwhelmed by that news (and that's not taking into account that we had to seriously speed up our move as a result, too!).

After all this frustration and confusion...Not much is doing it for me right now. I'm trying to find humor in life, still trying to make yummy things in the kitchen and throw myself into blogging. And I'm still loving the heck out of my husband and family members. But other than that? Everything, from getting up in the morning to getting through the work day without falling asleep and getting home without collapsing, is a major chore.
I know that lots of people go through much more devastating events than I am and still manage to keep a grip on life and not focus so much on the negative. Sure, after a year and a half of marriage you don't really expect something like this to come up. I just keep telling myself that this is happening for a reason. Okay, I should have said that I NEED to keep telling myself that, because I've clearly stopped doing so.  The Lord has a reason for everything and I need to give this to Him.  Why is that so difficult at times? Why do I need to keep reminding myself over and over? And even then, even after praying and talking to God and taking a deep breath, it's so tough to remember to be happy.

My new goal, then, is to find ways to add a little joie de vivre to my everyday life.
I already plan on trying my hand at gardening when we get settled and the weather warms up (note to self: post the before pictures from last weekend).

I'm happy that I'll have a bigger kitchen with - GASP! - windows, so I'll be able to take pictures of my creations and actually have natural light! A big, big backyard in which Rob can just grill to his heart's content (once we buy a grill and all). There are many positives here. Still, I know that things can become overwhelming when you're caring for someone who's sick, and I know that I'll want to pick up the slack when I'm home since Rob will be home all day and he'll probably want a break - I know I would.  But I'm gonna need something to fall back on.


So any more suggestions? All you Company Girls were so helpful last weekend when I had my "To Do List" woes - and I'm still so appreciative!!!