Enjoying Today

It's Monday.  12:50 PM.  And I'm sitting on my couch in my pajamas and slippers, typing this entry.  Still more tires squealing and engines revving in the back room.  Oh, vacation.

I love how, when you have an extended period of time off, the days kind of blend in to one another.  I love how when I woke up early this morning, my husband reminded me that I had requested a "Snuggle Date" last night (since he was going to bed earlier than I was, thus no snuggling), so we went back to bed and wound up sleeping for another three hours.  Oh, vacation.

(I did not, however, sleep in with impunity.  Spending another three hours asleep felt like I was doing something wrong, and I just about fell out of bed when I opened my eyes and saw what time it was.  I need to get over that.)

I have to say that it worries me that things won't be like this anymore if/when we move.  I know there's no sense in worrying - what's going to be will be.  But unlike, say, deciding to have a child, this sort of life change isn't something we've requested or planned for.  As good a thing as I know this will be for all of us, and as much as I genuinely want to be helpful, I still have fleeting moments of...panic.  Okay, maybe not panic.  Panic is too strong a word.  It's a mix of emotions, really.  There's a part of me that feels terrible for having these thoughts, but I don't think anyone in their right mind wouldn't have similar feelings of their own.  I am ready to do this.  It's just that the little things make me sad lately, because I'm afraid that the little things won't happen anymore.

So for now, "enjoying today" is on the agenda.  For tomorrow we find out what's going to happen and what we're going to need to do.