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The Misadventures of Mrs. B: Shoe Pain

Cook. Writer. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Klutz.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Shoe Pain

I'm thick-headed sometimes.  No matter how many times I've worn new shoes to work without stockings on and gotten terrible blisters, I insist on doing it again anyway.  I swear to myself that this time will be different.  This time I won't end up rubbing holes in my feet.  And besides, I'm going to get stockings at lunch.

And I end up hobbling that last, long block to the office.  I slowly limp, trying to walk on the sides of my feet so as to stop the rubbing of wet leather (oh, yeah, add rain into the equation!) on the delicate skin of my heel.  Every tiny, tentative little step is agony.  A turtle passes me and flips me the bird for holding him up.  Cars whiz by, driven by people who probably think, "Oh, that poor disabled girl.  She's so brave".  And as much as I shudder at the thought of anyone from work seeing me like this, I can't help but wish that one of them would see me and offer me a ride.

No such luck.

But nonetheless, I come up with stories to tell them just in case they DO see me and DO ask me why I'm walking in such a way...

"Oh, I twisted my knee over the weekend and walking really makes it hurt!"

But then they'd probably notice that it wasn't wrapped up...

"Oh, I twisted my knee on my way to the car this morning and didn't have time to wrap it or anything, and walking really makes it hurt but I was running late as it was and didn't want to miss any work for something so trivial!"

No, too much backstory - when you overexplain you look guilty of something.

But I really wouldn't want to tell the truth to a guy.  A girl, maybe - girls know about shoe pain.  A girl could probably relate.  But a guy? They have no idea.  Or maybe they do have *some* idea - guys get blisters, too.  Still, the amount of limping and hobbling I was doing must've looked pretty serious.  I didn't feel as though "bloody heels" was a good enough excuse.  And besides, I'd end up looking like a loser because I was stupid enough to wear shoes without stockings - running late or not.

But I never did get the chance to spin my web of deceit because no one picked me up.  It's probably for the best.  I just took baby steps to my desk, found some extra large bandages, and thanked the good Lord that I had a pair of Keds in my desk drawer.

I DARE someone to ask me why I'm wearing Keds today!

Don't make me take these bandages off...!



Blogger G said...

Ohmygosh Jen I know all ABOUT shoe pain! I have this pair of heels that I wear out a lot that I convince people "Is really comfortable, no really!" But by the end of the night, forget about it. I'm walking back to the parking garage down Philly streets in my bare feet. Ewww.

March 17, 2010 at 10:44 AM

Blogger MrsJenB said...

Giiiiiirl I've done that before. Once I had to walk an entire block down *gulp* South St to get to my apartment barefooted when I broke a heel. I'm surprised my feet didn't rot off before I got to my front door!!! You've been there. You know.

March 17, 2010 at 10:48 AM


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