I'm a Weak, Weak Woman

Friends, I'm struggling.  I know that I've been lighthearted about this in the past, but I'm starting to realize that I have a real issue on my hands.

Normally, if I remove something from my life, I have no problem staying away from it. Now, food can't possibly count of course - it's not exactly something you can remove from your life and continue living. But outside of food I've been generally successful.

For example, smoking.  I didn't smoke for very long - just through college - so I know it might have been more difficult to quit had I been smoking for many years.  I remember the first few days at college, how I could instantly tell who the big kids were.  The cool kids.  They were the ones who would huddle together outside between classes, obscured by an ever-present cloud of smoke.  Smoking was where it was at, so I picked it up and yes, I did make lots of friends during those smoke breaks.  When I left college, I quit smoking.  End of story.  No trouble.

I am usually very good about being disciplined on other matters as well.  I'm up at the same time every morning without using an alarm clock. 

Okay, that's the only other thing I can think of being disciplined with.  Give me time to come up with more.

The point of all of this is: I'm struggling now.  With my Starbucks resolution.

Have I managed to keep it so far? Yes! I haven't purchased a single cup of coffee yet (in fact, it's been since before Christmas!) from Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, McDonald's...anywhere.  I'm really proud of that, because I walk right past many opportunities to give in every morning.  It would be so easy to give in and take my place in line.

I have to ask myself the real reason behind my problem with these places.  I mean, it's coffee, right? Coffee is coffee is coffee when you get right down to it.  If I need it so badly, I can make a free cup at work.  No biggie.

But it's clearly more than that.  For one thing, it plays into my penchant for instant gratification.  I want it? There it is.  I'm gonna get it.  It's a just another thing for me to waste money on.  It's something to break up the monotony of the morning, a treat which has turned into an expensive habit.

Another underlying issue is, I believe, the fact that overpriced coffee has become somewhat of a status symbol.  Hasn't it in some way? The fact that you can afford to walk around with an overpriced cup of coffee in your hands says something about you.  I wanted to be one of the Starbucks sippers on the train.  I still do. And I just made the connection between this and my college smoking - I want to be one of the cool kids. When will I ever learn that I will never be cool?

Plus...it's yummy.  I'm a food addict as it is - maybe I should change that to "yummy addict".

Regardless of the "why", some days are most definitely easier than others.  Today was not an easy day at all - but I kept on walking.  Maybe the fact that I can stay strong and stay away from what's really just a money waster can serve as inspiration in quitting some poor eating habits as well.  I'm finding that I'm way better at disciplining myself than I thought I was - it may suck at the moment, but it's not the end of the world.  I'm learning.

One day at a time, right?

Have you ever had to quit something? What's your story? Do you have any advice?