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The Misadventures of Mrs. B: On Addiction

Cook. Writer. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Klutz.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

On Addiction

Hello, everyone.  My name is Mrs. Jen B.  And I'm a Starbucksaholic.

What leads me to this conclusion, you ask?

Because it's darn near impossible for me to steer clear of Starbucks, that's what.  It's like a tractor beam pulls me in every time I pass it while rushing from one train to the other during my morning commute and only the very strongest burst of rarely-used willpower (or "oh crap I'm gonna be late for work if I stop") can keep me away. 

Even still, I only go if I have the time between trains to do so, and only if there's next to no line at the counter.  Now, anyone who's ever been to a Starbucks at 8AM knows that it's rare to find a counter with no line.  It's even more rare for me to have the time between trains to stop.  Therefore, if I have the time AND there's hardly any people waiting?

Well, it was meant to be, friends.  Consider me caffeinated.  Who am I to fight fate?

Of course, it's been fated that I patronize Starbucks for the past several days.  And each time I go, it's been fated that I purchase a grande, iced, non-fat no-whip dark cherry mocha.  Swoon.  Can I just tell you how amazing this is? If you haven't had one yet, I have to ask you - nay, BEG YOU - to stop what you're doing right this very second and go purchase and then consume one.  You will thank me.

Yesterday, after several such visits in a row, the girl at the register told me I should get a Starbucks card, which is really just a giftcard but you can keep reloading it and earn points with your purchases.  Her reasoning behind this offer? "Because you're here, like, every day".

I was shocked for a second there, and my inner-Jen argued with her.  "Not true, barista.  Not true.  I know I'm memorable and all that because I'm that person who waits until I'm at the register to start fumbling around for my money, thus holding up everyone else and probably making them curse me out because they think I can't hear them with my earphones in but joke's on them because the music's turned off, but...Not true!".

...Okay, maybe I do go there a little more than I should on my limited budget.  But certainly not daily.  Still, this kindly barista opened my eyes to my true predicament.  I am an addict. Oh, the shame.

I mean, really.  If I'm truly looking for caffeination, the Keurig coffee maker at the office should do the trick.  It's coffee, it has caffeine.  It will probably taste okay.  It will achieve the same goal that a certain overpriced cup of absolute deliciousness will.  And I don't have to pay for it.

But let's not kid ourselves here.  It's not the same.  It's not.  And it never will be. 

Starbucks, you have me where you want me, you evil genius.

So what did I do in light of this revelation? I got the card, of course.  Might as well earn points if possible, right? Plus I figure, this will keep me honest about my coffee budget.  I'll only load a certain amount of money on at a time and when it's gone, it's gone, until the next time I load.

So ha-ha, Starbucks.  Take that, I say.  I can, indeed, control your hold over me.

*slurp slurp*

Oh, I almost forgot! Check out my blog renaming contest! Not as cool as some of the other contests out there in blogland, but important to me nonetheless!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

My addiction ia a tall, non fat, no foam, 4 pump, vanilla latte. But YES I am going to try your dark cherry mocha deliciousness!

April 14, 2010 at 12:26 PM

Blogger Beth said...

I don't like coffee (go ahead and gasp in horror) so Starbucks has never been an issue for me but I know many who share your predicament!

April 14, 2010 at 3:59 PM

Blogger MrsJenB said...

Yeah, lots of people don't, I'm sure! Actually, my f-in-law can't even stand the smell of it, and can taste even a drop of it in just about anything. So I never bothered to unpack the coffee maker when we moved in. Good thing there's oh-so-many places to get my fix! :-)

April 14, 2010 at 4:03 PM

Blogger Jessica said...

Haha! Very funny! I used to be there every day at least once but not so much any more. I prefer my French press with less calories, lol!

Stopping by from SITS!

April 14, 2010 at 6:08 PM

Blogger Kristin said...

Every morning I say "I'm over it" or "I don't need it" yet my car seems to be pulled in the direction...hmmm. My weakness is a Triple Grande Soy Cinnamon Dolce Latte, Extra hot, Easy Whip. Yummers!! I've tried the hot Dark Cherry Mocha, but it was too rich for me...I bet the iced would be heavenly!

April 14, 2010 at 7:43 PM

Blogger Brian + Cheryl B. said...

Hi Jen :-}
I do not like coffee. Not at all. Yes, I have bravely tried a sip of this and that kind which one of my sons or some friend is 'sure' I will like ... but I never do. No matter what flavorings have been added, I can still taste/detect the coffee part, which is what I don't like. In-fact, I don't like cooked or baked goods which contain coffee either. I just don't.

On the other hand, I L-O-V-E the smell of roasting coffee in the morning. I never had any problems remembering to start the coffee right off the bat when I was opening waitress in a resteraunt. And I never understood why whom ever it was that designed the kitchen and dining hall up at the youth camp, put the coffee pot so-o-o far away from the kitchen. I'd start it on my way into the kitchen in the morning, and then forget all about it seeings how I could not smell it, and it was out of sight thus out of mind. I'd get going on breakfast and a while later somebody on staff would stick their head in saying "did you know your completely out of coffe?" 'nope, hadn't a clue!' And by then I was elbow deep in cooking and would suggest they get the next pot going themselves ;-p

So, no, I do not like coffee, and Starbucks is no temptation to me what so ever. HOW-EVER (under no circumstances what-so-ever), do NOT, I repeat N-O-T, mess with my Pepsi!!!!!!! Now listen, I'm serious about this!!! o:-p

I have kind of gotten the impression that you live and work in the Chicago area. Am I right? My son, daughter-in-love, and absolutely adorable sweetheart of a grand daughter (:-D) live in a subburb that I believe(?) is west of Chicago. She works at an ice cream/dairy store right along the tracks for express trains which run in and out of Chicago.

April 15, 2010 at 11:04 AM

Blogger alicia said...

This post is funny and ever so convincing, I must say. It almost makes me want to go to Starbucks. Almost.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I don't know the trials that you are going through, but my thoughts are with you right now. Hang in there. And know that you are not alone.

April 15, 2010 at 11:16 AM

Blogger alicia said...

I'm not sure you got my last post. Sometimes my computer... UGH.

If not, know that I am thinking of you right now and hope you know that you are not alone.


Oh, and great post.

April 15, 2010 at 11:17 AM

Anonymous Melissa said...

What's your usual?

I used to get an unsweetened venti iced coffee and when I was craving it, I would allow myself a javachip mochachino. I don't do Starbucks anymore because I grew tired of the taste of their coffee, but I was once an addict. Starbucks won me over the day I spilled my entire coffee on my pants and before my eyes were finished rolling, there was another coffee in my hand and someone handing me napkins.

What is it that you like about Starbucks? Is it the taste of their coffee? The variety?

April 15, 2010 at 12:01 PM

Blogger MrsJenB said...

Hmmm...good question...(ps can you tell I'm spending way too much time online today?)

It's not the basic coffee itself that gets me, it's the espresso drinks (because I love the extra jolt). And I do love the variety. Lately I'm all about the iced dark cherry mocha, which I'm sure I'll tire of, but usually it's just a no-fat latte - I like it because I don't feel like it needs sweetener because of all the milk in it, takes any bitterness away. I've had the javachip and WHOA. Glad I didn't get hooked on that, I'd be even bigger than I am now!

Plus they're consistent. I can ask for something and get the drink I'm expecting. Whereas with Dunkin Donuts, for example, I can ask for the same drink (a turbo, of course - love that espresso) three days in a row and get three different drinks. And usually, only one of which is drinkable, depending on who's working!

April 15, 2010 at 12:17 PM

Blogger MrsJenB said...

Cheryl - actually I live in S. Jersey :-) I used to be opening waitress in a restaurant, too! I remember getting those biiiiiig pots started in the morning, when I was so tired I could hardly see straight!

I'm not a soda person - one thing I'm glad I was pretty much raised without. It seems like my family moved more and more towards soda after I moved out. For dinner your options were iced tea, milk or water. Now they have, like, 6 or 7 things to choose from when we visit. It's weird. I drink water the rest of the day, once my coffee's out of the way. :-)

April 15, 2010 at 12:20 PM

Blogger Salt said...

Oh gosh me too. Every morning. Even if it's going to make me late. I've been wanting to try the dark cherry mocha, but hadn't heard a review of it yet. Now I am sold.

April 15, 2010 at 1:21 PM

Blogger Jenny said...

Great post! I've been wanting to try the dark cherry mocha, too...

April 17, 2010 at 8:40 PM


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